Introducing: The Circle of Integrity

We all know the comfort zone - that area where we feel, well, comfortable. We are all encouraged to get out of the said comfort zone to experience and learn new things. 

Today, I want to write about another zone - the integrity zone. I will call it the circle of integrity. 

The comfort zone is what you are good at, what you enjoy. The Circle of Integrity is WHO YOU ARE.

Our comfort zone is more or less understood and visible. But the Circle of Integrity is a larger, largely invisible circle. 

 Stepping outside the comfort zone leads to some form of growth. Stepping outside the circle of integrity gnaws at our core. It is what leads to an emptiness inside even when, on the surface, everything looks good. 

The reason that some new things lead to happiness and some others lead to a growing sense of isolation and discontent is this. The things that are outside the comfort zone but inside the circle of integrity - these are the things that lead to personal growth. The things that lie outside our circle of integrity are the ones that might look like growth, but are, in fact, the things that will make us unhappy, because they do not align with who we are. Because the circle of integrity is invisible, only the person knows when they are doing something that goes against their grain. No one outside can tell or even know. 

The trouble is, we are often asked to step outside our comfort zone, but because we don't know about the existence of the larger circle, we don't even know when we are stepping out of that. The concept of comfort zone is ubiquitous, but no one teaches us about the circle of integrity - the importance of knowing, and remaining true to oneself. 

There are many reasons that one might have to step out of the circle of integrity - fitting in with a new group of "friends", doing things that the job requires us to do, joining an activity or other club where certain kinds of behaviour are 'normal'. 

How to tell if it is outside the comfort zone or the circle of integrity? Both changes feel like discomfort. 

Only at the very start. If something feels like it goes against your grain, don't give it too long. I left a toxic workplace because I knew that irrespective of growth, this place will not make me happy. 

It is good to get out of one's comfort zone and broaden one's horizons. But it is equally important to understand what you are NOT and remaining true to yourself.