We often address the wife as "Shrimati ji" in India.
Ever wondered what the term Shrimati means?
Shree(big ee sound, not the small i sound) means Lakshmi and Mati means brain or wisdom of.
So, Shrimati means one with the wisdom of Shree Herself.
Some other ways to address wives: Bhagyawam (the lucky one), Karmaanwaaliye (the one with good karma).
It was written in our scripture that the wife is the one who brings good luck to the husband, and his destiny begins only after marriage.
1. Plan for the biggest expenditure first.
2. If it doesnt make common sense, then it doesnt make any sense.In some Indian communities, where the family lives in one city and does not plan to move out (like mine - Punjabi trading class), real estate is used as a long term investment for future goals.
For instance:
This house is for that daughter.
This shop is for the younger son.
This house we will reverse mortgage when we are old.
This house is for contingencies like loss in business, partner fraud, etc.
So, one invests in home/small business loans and picks up residential / commercial property in a neighbourhood one knows well at a young age, and sells them when they are 50 or something, linked to specific goals. But the children know while growing up that this property is earmarked for them.
This does not work so well for families that migrate or families that don't know the lay of the land so well.
Every family is unhappy in its own way, but the ones that are happy have some things in common.
You might have read this or heard it from your seniors.
It is true in business too.
Some common threads run through the business communities that I have studied.
The BIGGEST common factor in successful business communities is that they all support each other, especially the ones who are starting out.
They provide introductions, orders, opportunities. Even simple logistical support like a place to stay or eat inexpensively.
It's not done at an individual level. There are community structures in place. For instance, there is a dharamshala in a city. That dharamshala is funded by the commerce association of a community.
Therefore, integrity at the workplace is enforced by ensuring that everyone knows everyone's families and the reward (and punishment) of good/bad work extends to the family and the extended family.
The communities I have studied are: Marwadis, Baniyas, Gujaratis, Punjabi trading communities.
The communities I want to study - Shroffs, Shettys, Chettiars, and others from the South, Ahmediyas and Bohras, and the North East.
People don't become rich. Communities do.
Some of you might know that I have been trying to understand the business and wealth practices of Indian communities. Then one day, someone forwarded a video where a person speaks about the wealth and business practices of the Jews.
And that is what got me thinking. In all the Indian business communities, while there is diversity of belief system, one common thread runs - the community works actively to uplift those who are just starting out. This is one of the 2-3 parallel threads that run across all financially aware communities of India.
The video on Jewish practices said the same thing.
And that is when I realised - Most rich people stand on the foundation of other people who helped them in early days - a loan, an introduction, an order, even something as simple as a place to stay, which used to be the norm amongst Marwadis traveling for work to other areas.
People rarely become rich. Communities do. That is why, even self-made people immediately seek the friendship of other fabulously rich people. Success is a team sport. We need the network to help us.
If you are looking to get successful, seek a community that will help you. It could be your family, your college alumni, or even the local networking chapter of some business association that you are a part of. This is why organisations like BNI are successful.
If you ARE successful, invest time in BEING such a pillar of support to someone who needs it now.
The sense of community is vital to all aspects of our well-being - spiritual pursuit, though an individual affair, is helped immensely by being a part of a likeminded group. Everything from parenting to professional excellence needs a sense of community.
The trick, I think, is in finding that sweet spot between community support and its Whack-a-mole impact on innovation.
More on that later.
My son was pitching his startup to a real, live audience for the first time this weekend. The event had 10 fantastic ideas by students from all parts of the country. While the brilliance of these ideas and their bold execution took one by surprise, what really got my attention was how each speaker (each of them a stellar entrepreneur themselves) spoke about the dire need to pull our children out of the job seeker mindset and to instill in them the job creator mindset.
"In school, don't think of how you will kill your creativity and do a course to become a job seeker. Think about how you will harness and unleash the same creativity to be a job creator by the time you graduate from college."
- Said one of the speakers.
Another speaker said:
The British have worked hard to make sure our children grow up with the clerk mindset. Change what your education is telling you to become. Give up the clerk mindset and get the entrepreneur mindset.
**********
Obviously, these quotes make one think immediately of the Gujaratis, who traditionally look down upon jobs as a form of slavery and inspire each child to start something of their own. It is a cultural thing.
And then, one got to thinking some more:
From the days of Indus Valley Civilisation, India has been and continues to be, at its heart, a mercantile civilisation*.
Agriculture does employ the most people, but trade generates the most value.
After the Mughals, there was relative stability in Delhi and trade flourished. By 1600 AD, as many as FOUR East India companies had been incorporated in Europe because Europeans were sick of how much money they were having to pay to India for their needs - Dutch, Portugese, French, and British East India companies.
India did not just know how to make great stuff. We also knew how to sell it profitably.
Even today, mercantile trade in the form of family business contributes to the bulk of our secondary sector GDP.
And that is why, Indians will find their way back to entrepreneurship. We may have eliminated it from our education, but we have it in our homes.
I think we underestimate the importance of historical legacy when we talk about India becoming the fastest growing startup nation of the world. As soon as the ecosystem was created and favourable conditions provided, we soared. Including the 100 bright young minds who submitted their entries to this national startup contest for students. As one of the speakers said - "If this is how the young minds of today are thinking, I know that our future is in safe hands. This country will progress."
*Trade relations of SIVC with other contemporary civilisations are well documented. My hypothesis on the seals is that these were mercantile seals with codes instead of actual text. The code would include things like source(name and location of merchant, much like brands today), type of product, grade/quality of product, and potentially, the units carried. Most of these seals can be imprinted upon another surface, much like lac seals used even today by Marwadi marchants.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0UlCatC1e4
Here is another person who shares the same hypothesis:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8qA6sSXNts
Here are some estimates:
https://www.businesstoday.in/opinion/interviews/story/family-businesses-contribute-over-70-to-india-gdp-says-farhad-forbes-of-family-business-network-225943-2019-09-09
https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/company/corporate-trends/india-ranks-3rd-globally-in-terms-of-number-of-family-owned-businesses/articleshow/65807479.cms
https://www.forbesindia.com/special-report/indias-family-businesses/1617/1
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1041770/india-business-structure-family-businesses-by-type/
A Gurdas Mann song has this chorus line -
Roti Haq di khaiye ji, paanve boot polishaan kariye
What does haq di roti mean?
Haq means right.
Haq di roti means livelihood earned through honest means, to which one has legitimate right.
Halaal and haraam are two words that are also extensively used in North Indian conversations.
Halaal ka paisa is money earned through honest means, by doing hard work. On this money, one has Haq.
Haraam means earning through dishonest means, by doing wrong things.
One of the things that we heard often at home, from everyone was:
The money earned through someone's tears is only spent on the hospital and the crematorium.
This means that if someone does manage to amass a lot of wealth by unfair means, that wealth will not bring happiness to the acquirer. Karma will find a way, such that the money will be spent on illness and death. This means that either the person, or their family, will suffer ill health that has recurrent costs.
Over the years, I have found this saying come true sometimes and not so much at other times.
But the advice does exist and is given as a warning to growing children, so they may be inspired to earn their money through honest means.
"The Panchatantra is a collection of children's stories, like Aesop's fables."
This statement is false.
Neither in its original design and intent, nor in its structure, is Panchatantra a set of children's stories.
Panchatantra is a treatise on statecraft that uses animal stories as pedagogy.
The animals are used as metaphors of human characteristics.
The stories are neither childlike nor non violent. They encompass every element of human emotions and interactions. There is deceit, violence, death, flattery, coercion, persuasion, betrayal, et al.
The Panchatantra should be read to understand statecraft.
If that holistic view is of any use to you, the National Book Trust has a book that has all the stories of Panchatantra, in order, with the lesson attached to each.
There is also another book that just lists the suktis or sutras in order. You can also refer that one. (Different publisher).
None of the sutras is useful by itself. It has to be viewed in context. Which is why, when I tried to read only the sutras book, it was not as useful. But read with the context of the stories, they made a lot of sense.
The most distinct difference in the Indian and Western schools of thought is the systematic dehumanising of people.
Employees are not human beings. They are human resources.
Patients are not human beings. They are cases who must be treated, not according to what their bodies are telling them, but what studies done by pharma companies on thousands of people have told the doctor to do.
In India, on the other hand, we do not ask for "2 stone cutters" - we ask for Suresh and Ramesh. In US based companies, we ask for "2 desk traders" or "2 Java developers" or, worse still, "a gastroentrologist."
People are not labels. There is a difference in the way each of them does their work. The whole point of close management is so we know each person's unique abilities and nurture them. If the system encourages us to view people only through the lens of their label, it is, essentially dehumanising the person.
The Indian vaids do NOT depend on pharmacological studies. They write their own histories, depend on their knowledge of the herbs, and learn from the accumulated wisdom of other doctors, not pharma companies.
The way modern medicine is structured requires pharma companies to do these mass testing and trials. But to dehumanise the person sitting next to you in favour of these studies, that is systemic denial of human individuality.
एक समय की बात है। मिस्र में एक अंग्रेज काहिरा की ओर जा रहा था। रास्ते में उसे एक अकेला बूढ़ा आदमी चलता हुआ मिला। अंग्रेज को दया आ गई। उसने अपनी गाड़ी रोक कर उस बूढ़े आदमी से पूछा, "आप कहाँ जा रहे हैं?"
"काहिरा जा रहा हूँ।" वृद्ध ने उत्तर दिया।
पता नहीं वृद्ध के व्यक्तित्व में क्या आकर्षण था, अंग्रेज़ ने न्योता दिया, "आइए, मेरी गाड़ी में बैठ जाइए। मैं आपको ले चलता हूँ। आपके पूरे पाँच दिन बच जाएंगे।"
वृद्ध पहले हतप्रभ हुआ, फिर धीरे से मुस्कुरा कर ना की मुद्रा में सर हिलाते हुए कहा - "पर पाँच दिन बचा कर मैं उस समय का करूंगा क्या?" - ऐसा कह कर, वृद्ध ने अंग्रेज़ से विदा ली और चलने लगा।
ये मेरे जीवन की सबसे महत्वपूर्ण कथाओं में से है। समय और पैसा, किसी गेम करन्सी जैसे हैं। जब हम कोई गेम खेलते हैं, तो उसका पैसा उसी गेम में कमाते हैं, और वहीं खर्च करते हैं। उस पैसे को गेम के बाहर न तो लाया जा सकता है, न ही उसका गेम के बाहर कोई मोल है।
हमारे जीवन में भी, पैसा और समय, ऐसे ही हैं। इस जीवन के बाहर, न तो उनका कोई मोल है, न उन्हें ले जाया जा सकता है। समय बचाना तो अच्छी बात है। पर उस समय का करोगे क्या, यह और भी महत्वपूर्ण है।
पैसा कमाना और संजोना, दोनों अच्छी बातें हैं, पर उस पैसे का प्रयोजन क्या है, उसका उपयोग क्या है, यह और भी महत्वपूर्ण है।
पाँच दिन बचाकर, हम करेंगे क्या?
अमूमन गेम में हम उस XP और पैसे को खर्च कर के, कुछ सीख लेते हैं। जीवन का भी ऐसा ही है। उस पैसे और समय (XP) को तो गेम से बाहर नहीं ले जाया जा सकता, पर गेम खेलते खेलते हम जो सीखते हैं, उसे साथ ले जाया जा सकता है।
Have you ever noticed these:
A. In a langar or bhandara, after serving, the person doing the serving thanks the person being served with folded hands.
B. In the courts of kings, the person sitting next to the king is not the chief minister. It is the Rajguru. After that, the chief minister, and then the other ministers get their seats.
C. When a teacher enters the court, the king gets up from the throne and touches the feet of the teacher.
D. When the sage came to king Dashratha, he had to send his children with the sage, irrespective of his misgivings, or the fact that he was the parent of the boys.
E. Sita was kidnapped because a beggar refused to take alms from her. Chandragupta raised his army through students who went door to door and sought support from householders. Buddhism got its first ashrams thru the bhikkus.
Compare that to a modern office, or our current lives, and much of this will appear strange.
So, why did this happen??
The first one, in my view, is the most telling of the underlying values that defined this society. When we give something to someone,we expect gratitude from the person. That is a fair exchange of value. But when we give something and then also offer our gratitude, that is one person receiving twice the value, and the giver receiving none. Why does that happen?
Because, the giver has been given an opportunity to serve. This opportunity to serve is important to the giver. Not only because it gives him/her good karma. Why is good karma more important than money, or the instant gratification one gets from gratitude?
Because, karma is a long term thing. One of the first spiritual concepts you will learn in India, irrespective of your religion, is that when you leave this world, only your soul and your karma goes with you. All material possessions are left here on Earth. Only your good karma tags along.
Which means that the benefit one derives from good karma is far more than the sum total of material wealth and emotional strokes of momentary gratitude. The giver folds his hands and bows because he is getting something far more long-lasting and precious than what is being given.
What is the impact on a society of a belief system like this?
First, it implores people to do good for its own sake. The books of account are never closed - what you do in this birth, remains with you till it is paid off. Dying doesn't save you from the effect of your actions.
Second, it creates a culture of learnt humility. The king vacates his seat for the guru, not because the king lacks in power, but because the teacher exceeds in spiritual power.
Third, it acknowledges, on a day to day basis, that giving is as important to the human heart as receiving.
Our need to love is as universal as our need to be loved. Our need to give as universal as our need to receive.
When we acknowledge the universality of this need, we begin to understand that the person who gives us an opportunity to fulfill this need is, in fact, doing us a favour. Therefore, we thank them with folded hands.
When we live and work in India, we come to accept this core value system and the underlying comprehension that it incorporates.
To give is as much a luxury as to receive.
How is this applicable?
1. Many Western companies are very focused on reporting impact. They find it strange that the Indian arm is not as diligent about measuring impact and getting back on whether any difference has been made. THis is because the Indian believes - Neki kar dariya mein daal - let the good you do not be tom-tom-ed.
2. Most Indian promoters do NOT report the CSR work that they do. I have been left gaping when promoters casually mention how they empowered thousands of women who did not have a choice, or how they adopted 80 schools and funded their redevelopment from their personal funds. The level of charity that I see in promoter led organisations, and the personal commitment of the promoters to doing that good is, quite simply, astounding. But this approach to charity leads to a situation that the Western mind does not understand - there is no report made on the CSR index of Indian organisations. If you see the reports made by private organisations, the list will mostly have non Indian MNCs.
