I will bet that you have read at least 100 posts that tell you how to bring happiness in your life. This is the 101st, or perhaps the 1001st. So go for it, or not.
There is that story about the rocks, pebbles, sand, and water. (If you haven't read it, it's in the PS below).
What is remarkable about the world is this:
It is fashionable to crib about the rocks in life all the time - Jobs suck (TGIF), Mom life sucks, Parents are horrid, Husband jokes, wife jokes, fidelity is too much work, honesty is outdated.
We coat the rocks with 2-inch-thick negativity and coat the sand particles with gratitude and forced positivity - Today, Life Loves You. Today, i am grateful for you, dear friends, BUT if-you-oppose-my-political-opinion-on-social-media-I-will-rip-you-apart-and-throw-the-flesh-to-the-trolls.
How does this work, exactly? (Hint: It doesn't)
Contrast this with:
Shopkeepers who pray to their shutter before opening it and performers who touch the stage with reverence before stepping on it. It's not a job-that-sucks. Its rozi-Roti.
Husbands who call their wives "Bhagyawan" (the one who brings luck).
Parents who are grateful to be parents, not scornful.
So, the message is:
Be grateful for your rocks, or don't have them in your jar.
Marriage is fun. Being single is fun. Choose what gives you joy. Then be happy with that decision.
If you don't like your job, don't do that work. If you get your money from that job, and you get the rest of your life from that money, be grateful for it. Don't live a TGIF life.
If you don't enjoy being around children, don't become a parent. This is your life. Live it in the way that you like.
But, like your life. Be grateful about the rocks. You put them there.
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PS:
A philosophy professor once stood up before his class with a large empty glass jar. He filled the jar to the top with large rocks and asked his students if the jar was full. The students said that yes, the jar was indeed full. He then added small pebbles to the jar, and gave the jar a bit of a shake so the pebbles could disperse themselves among the larger rocks. Then he asked again, “Is the jar full now?” The students agreed that the jar was still full. The professor then poured sand into the jar to fill up any remaining empty space. The students then agreed that the jar was completely full.
He then added water to the jar. The water tricked through the sand and the pebbles, taking no extra space.
The professor went on to explain that the jar represents life.
The rocks are the really important things - family, work, health...
The pebbles are the less important things (whatever that may be to you)
The sand is the stuff that exists only to fill in the empty spaces.
What is important is the order in which we fill the jar (divide our time)
If we put the sand and pebbles in first, there will be no space for the large rocks.
Likewise, if we plan our day around the Instagram reels and the social media likes, there will be little time left for health, cooking, talking to real friends, being there for people in a way that matters to them.
And so on. But for this post, the only important metaphor is what rocks, pebbles, and sand stand for.
