How to Join an Existing Group

Tuckman's 5 Stages of Group Formation - Forming - Storming - Norming - Performing - Adjourning are well-known.

But how does one get inside a group? What are the stages of joining a group?

Stage 1: At this stage, one or perhaps two members of the group know you. If they like you, you are invited if there are places to fill and someone is needed. Example: Stuart in 'The Big Bang Theory'.

Stage 2: At this stage, you are invited, but your absence leaves a void the size of a pailful of water from the river. In short, your company is enjoyed, but your absence is not particularly missed.

Stage 3: At this stage, plans are made keeping your calendar constraints in mind. If you don't turn up, it doesn't feel like 'fun' to others. You are missed.

How does one move from Stage 1 to Stage 3? It is as simple as 1-2-3.

> Pay Attention
Pay attention to people. Listen. Understand them. Truly. They are humans. Before acting, watch and understand the group norms, communication style, and patterns.

> Show Up
Showing up is 50% of the work done. Just showing up is very important. Make time for this group. Make them a priority.

> Be Consistent and Be You
To get into the group might take initiative and action, but to remain takes just - honesty, and consistency.