How NOT to write an invitation email to an Advisory board Member

Some days ago, I agreed to be on the Advisory Board of a start-up working in the disability space. I offered to do this pro-bono because this work is linked to Esha and the cause I stand for. 

I asked them to send me an invitation email and I would accept it to formalise the connection. 

Today, I got the formal invitation email. This, dear friends, is being recorded as the ultimate example of how NOT to write an invitation email to a member of the Advisory Board or Panel. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present: 

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Dear Nidhi Arora,

 We at ******** are impressed with your expertise in the field and would like to invite you to be an Advisor on Product & User Acquisition. Your roles and responsibilities would include helping *******  with user acquisition / engagement,making contact with us to test the product pipeline - hardware and software, as well as introducing us to key people in the ecosystem.

We believe your knowledge and experience would be valuable in making our product better for use cases for the visually impaired. Please let us know your thoughts on the proposal and if you're interested, we would be honored to have you on board.

 Looking forward to hearing from you.

 Warm regards

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<Formal Signature of the Founder> 

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