The Gap between when we learn and when we need it

My son started learning meditation when he was 7-8 years old. 

Why? 

Because at that age, the child does not have to do any unlearning. We can start with simple things like deep breathing and guide the child to the format of meditation that works for them. It can be dhyana, it can be Bhakti. It can be focus based or love based. 

The second important reason is that with an early initiation into meditation, the child grows up with a strong inner calm, and more importantly, a technique that they can use to center themselves when needed. 

Children don't need these skills until much later - the High school is perhaps the first time that a child feels exam or peer stress and needs a relaxation or centering technique. But by that time, the child has already had years of practice and slips right in, avoiding the trauma of teenage hormones.  

He learnt Speed Reading in 2019, when he was 12 years old. We fought. 

"I don't need this." he stormed. 

"Yes, right now you don't. But when you do need it, you won't have time to spend on learning it, nor the time to practice. To use it effectively then, you will have to learn it now and practice it pointlessly till then." I countered, "Just trust me on this." 

Reluctantly, he did. He completed a 5 week course in a single sitting, going from 200+ words per minute to a top speed of 1400 words per minute. 

After that, I encouraged him to speed read at least some of the times, and while he wasn't all gung-ho, he complied. 

Then came Grade 9. And he was able to read fast enough to complete reading and find time to play. 

He learnt Speed Maths from the ages of 8 - 10. 

This Speed Maths was created by me at the age of 11 to deal with my own maths issues. So, it covered only the things that we needed as students - prime nos, multiplication of prime nos, squares, cubes and cube roots, basic identities, multiplication and division. 

Same story. 

"I don't need this!" 

"Not right now, but in a few years, you will." 

"No i won't." 

"When high school maths hits, what kills you is not the concepts. The concepts are easy enough to get. It is the laborious calculations - 13 * 17 *19. But you learn that right now. Just trust me on this." 

And he did. 

We did not use practice sheets. We just practised with number plates of vehicles around us as we drove, or randomly while watching TV, or in the middle of unrelated fights. "Why is 1729 a special number?"  Because it is 7*13*19! And 1728? That's 12 cube. 

Come Grade 7,  the child was looking at those long calculations and finally benefiting from what he learnt years ago and had practised for years before needing it. He slipped right in. I got that Thank you. 

He learnt self expression through theater at the age of 18 months.. we covered the Navarasa to understand and express exactly what we were feeling. We practised through books, and over a period of time, with situations that came up around us. He learnt to identify and express the real emotion. It took some struggling, but the core navarasas helped a lot. As soon as he learnt to talk, he learnt to talk about emotions too. I didn't know then, whether he was going to be an introvert, but I did know that the ability to identify and express exactly what you are feeling is a priceless skill, and hard to acquire later. It must begin with the acquisition of core language skills. 

As he grew up, I heard a lot of "Boys don't express themselves." But thankfully, was spared the experience. He and I had been identifying and articulating for many years before teenage and other difficult times struck. When the time came, we had already practised. 

He was taught logic puzzles from the age of 6 or so. When he was 8, I tried to do a logic puzzles class for other children, but found few takers. Any case, we kept at it at home. He had to solve logic puzzles with me, albeit reluctantly. This year, we did GMAT Critical Reasoning (he is 15). There were 35 practice questions. He got all 35 right. In his first attempt. He didn't even think it was a big deal. Indian students score lowest on the CR section of every test, because logic is not a part of our school curriculum at all. 

Before the age of 3, he had heard 6-7 languages inside the house. I spoke them deliberately, sometimes mixing words from 2 languages in the same sentence! Everyone called me crazy, but I just kept doing it. Today, he understands those 5-6 languages to a reasonable degree. He has never needed them - yet. 

So, what is the point? 

The point is, that the age at which children are best suited to learn a few things, and the age at which they need to use those things, are very far apart. The time at which we teach our children these skills, is years before they see any real need of them. But at the right time, they find that they are able to manage just fine. That is neither automatic nor a coincidence. It is because two vital things have happened: 

A. The child has acquired the skill when their brains were growing the fastest - the first 3 years are the fastest stage of growth, then 5 years, then 8, and then, the growth slows till the age of 18 or thereabouts. We do learn after the age of 18, but compared to our potential in the early years, it is much lesser. 

B. The child has had years of slow but consistent practice. In a peaceful, non-stressful way. There really is no substitute for slow, consistent, fun practice. Even if you remember once a year that 2197 is the cube of 13, that is important. And it will come to you, almost automatically, when the need arises - 10 years later, when you are prepping for entrance exams. 

So, we, as parents, need to understand that some of these skills, which go on to form part of our IQ, EQ, and SQ, start much before the child actually needs them. And as enrichment educators at TCP, we need to find a way to teach that to other parents.