I have been thinking about currencies other than money that run the world. We make the mistake of thinking of money as the only currency of the world. In recent months, I have been studying the economy of love and its quite staggering. This led me to observe other human transactions and ask - what is being exchanged here?
So, what is the currency of a family? What is exchanged between members?I think that the currency of a family is mutual respect and unselfish love. What we make in money is only important up to a point. Which is why we find so little correlation between happy, close-knit families and their earning status.
Once we understand this, so many things begin to make sense.
This is the reason why the breadwinner concept is limited. We have taught ourselves that the breadwinner is someone whose sole contribution to the family is earning money. This leads to people in their 40s being lonely within their own families, unable to have conversations or form connections. What you bring in terms of money, what you do in terms of household work, are all important contributions. But they are not the currency of the family.
This is the reason why the breadwinner concept is limited. We have taught ourselves that the breadwinner is someone whose sole contribution to the family is earning money. This leads to people in their 40s being lonely within their own families, unable to have conversations or form connections. What you bring in terms of money, what you do in terms of household work, are all important contributions. But they are not the currency of the family.
The currency of the family is not the good house. It is the memories built in that house. If you are never there to build those memories, no exchange is possible.
The currency is not the work of dishwashing. It is the conversations that happen while doing dishwashing. Which is why a parent and child who share chores will have a deeper bond than those who do things for their children. The chore is not the currency. The feeling of loving and being loved back. That is what is being exchanged.
When a parent brings home something bought from their hard earned money, the currency is not the thing or the money used to buy it. The currency is the feeling of being loved enough that someone remembers to bring something you like, and the ability to reciprocate that love, because that reciprocation will be welcomed.
This is why rich people have children who do not value the parents for their wealth. And super efficient mothers are surprised when they hear from their adult children - "But you were never THERE!"
This is why rich people have children who do not value the parents for their wealth. And super efficient mothers are surprised when they hear from their adult children - "But you were never THERE!"
Once we understand the currency of a system (in this case, family), we are able to make meaningful exchanges that enrich everyone in the ecosystem. Because, as everyone knows, the more currency changes hands, the richer every one gets. :)
Why do working parents feel unappreciated?
It is not enough to make the sacrifice. The members must know that this is a sacrifice for you. This is where many working moms falter. They are forever in a mommy guilt trip, but they never share it with the family. So, the family does not realise that the parent is going through an inner turmoil. Likewise for the father who does not want to be away, but is.
Thoughts?
Thoughts?
